By Zrinka Marinović Šarić
Contemporary culture is uncultured because it aggressively destroys marriages and propagates freedom outside of marriage. Feminist propaganda imposed success without marriage and called motherhood a burden. Promiscuity destroys communion and wounds trust in the institution of marriage. The media promotes woman’s self-sufficiency and beautifies broken marriages by celebrating the friendships of divorced spouses.
It is obvious that marriage does not attract the woman of today, and sends a discouraging message to men. That is why many young people decide to have an extramarital life. The reasons for this are childhood traumas, painful experiences of the marriage of their parents and celebrities, comfort and various fears – fear of rejection, fear of losing freedom, fear of children, fear of gaining weight, fear of marriage, fear of divorce, repressed hatred towards men, vengeance not to serve him.
When my best friend, a successful journalist, asked me 36 years ago, „Didn’t we say that we would lose our freedom through marriage?“ I was surprised and replied, „How come I’m free. I feel freedom with my whole being,“ I sang, quoting Kranjčević, „He who does not have freedom, dreams of freedom. Wow, the most beautiful dream.“
„Freedom is man’s supreme ability, but also his supreme danger. That is why the essence of freedom is to choose what is good, what is true, what is fair,“ said the founder of hagiotherapy, Prof. Dr Tomislav Ivančić.
A woman enters freedom through marriage because freedom is a spiritual reality. Freedom is the power of a woman if she decides for good. Freedom makes you indestructible when you accept to be one with your spouse. Freedom gives courage and boldness to step forward in life by having confidence in the One who leads everything. Experience the goodness of the Creator who does everything for good. A truth that frees from all traumas and fears. Experience the beauty of communion and the unbreakable depths of a spouse. Unity as a whole – Creator and spouses. The unconditional love that conquers and heals everything.
Be aware that your marriage is unique and unrepeatable and does not have to be a copy of your parents, but original and authentic.
There is no love between two persons if it is not the love of the individual in the unconditional love of the Creator. In a spouse to love a person, not just to love.
A woman’s vocation
A time of invited and irresponsible women. Are today’s women responsible? Do they hear a call to life’s task? Do they respond or not? Gone are the days when a man felt responsible to propose to a girl, despite the fear of being rejected. Gone are the days when he felt he had to take care of the family on his own. It is time for a woman to use the freedom she has fought for and to use her intuition to judge whether it is her man fit for marriage and to help him by inviting him to think and realize and make a decision.
A woman – ambassador of life or a murderer
Does marriage make a woman happy? Does it make her fulfilled, understood and accepted? Can a woman be realized in marriage? Aware of her worth, a woman makes herself and a man happy. Marriage is the primordial call to the unbreakable union of man and woman.
„Marriage and the family are the centres of humanity. The heart of society, the cradle of every man. In marriage and family, man is born and raised. Man, that is a marriage. He is born from marriage, enters into marriage and creates a family, and recognizes a resemblance to God in himself. ”- Tomislav Ivančić
One should recognize the signs of the times and overcome all obstacles of fears and traumas with the strength of the Spirit, and step out of one’s comfort zone and dare to take a marital step forward. To be aware that you are not entering into marriage alone, but the Creator is inhabiting your depths. A woman experiences that her life can be transformed and that she is accepted just like she is. That the Creator himself trusts her and gives her a chance to be a co-creator of life. That is why every new child should be received as the most precious gift, not property, and be in harmony with the Giver of life. For only He knows how much and when we can receive these miraculous beings. Marriage is renewed and regenerated with each new child. Because Heaven descends to earth. That force of tenderness in the newborn softens everything rigid. Passive Love, which gives itself, is manifested. You need to know how to receive.
A free or submissive woman
„Love and do what you want,“ says St. Augustine. So also a woman in love serves but is always in freedom ready to choose the good. A woman who has not experienced the unconditional love of the Creator, who has not experienced the Truth that sets her free, becomes a slave to the spouse. She fails to realize herself. When she is realized, she stands up for herself, she stands up for the two of them, for marriage. To be one’s means to be always in Being. It is necessary to experience the husband over and over again as a supreme being, to admire the work of the Creator in him, and not in himself. In man there is an external force where reason has a greater influence over the internal force. Likewise, a woman radiates inner strength, intuitively outward.
For humanity to heal, healthy marriages are needed. Marriage is ill and should be healed for some future times, future generations who will beware of every sin before marriage. Marriage is the greatest value of the relationship between a man and a woman, so it is the most affected. For the marriage to be strengthened and established, it will go through all adversity, destruction and restoration, sickness and health, misunderstanding and mistrust.
The therapy of marriage is necessary. It is, therefore, necessary to:
1. Discover the underlying diseases and anthropological knowledge, pain and early basic age (lack of love and attention), discover who man is.
2. Realize that there are no culprits, no bad marriage. Only the wounding of the depths of the spouse, so the divorce is an escape with illness in itself.
3. Evil is the cause of all marital misunderstandings, and the sources of illness are traumatic marital situations.
4. Husband and wife are one, so spiritual health is mediated to both.
5. Goodness, truth, love and beauty stand where evil has destroyed marital reality. It is necessary to rebuild the broken trust, to discover the meaning of forgiveness and repentance, to justify the spouse, and to condemn sin and to say in spirit:
„Your depths understand and justify me. They do not judge me. Your depths love me.
My depths understand and justify you. I am not giving you away. My depths love you.
In our depths is Someone who created them. In our marriage is the Creator, as the indissoluble Truth.“
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Hagioassistent and evangelizer, born in 1962 in Poličnik near Zadar, now lives in Samobor, married, mother of six daughters. The first turning point in her life was made by Professor Ivančić’s seminar in 1983 in Zagreb. She encountered hagiotherapy in 2000. Intensive training in hagiotherapy begins with the 1st International Study of Hagiotherapy held in 2009 in Zagreb. The Center for Hagiotherapy in Samobor was founded in 2012. She holds individual hagiotherapies, forums, regular hagiotherapy meetings on Wednesdays in Samobor and seminars for evangelization in Croatia and Europe.
